It's Hot

I used to live in Texas. I loved many things about it. But the heat wasn't one of them....Yesterday felt like Texas.

Michael put a thermometer on the front porch because he did not believe the official "the Weather Channel" report that it was 101 degrees in Anaheim, California, in our zip code. (Nor was he buying the announcement that with humidity, it felt like 106.)













The first reading was about 104. I took another picture later trying to get rid of the glare of the flash....and it was hotter by then. (Not counting the humidity!)














(The thermometer was only on the floor by that ray of sunlight 14 seconds before I took the picture....) Yep, it was 106 on my shaded front porch, all afternoon. It was muggy and heavy and hot. We took the thermometer inside after that, because sun on the front porch was going to give a false reading and cause the inmates, er... I mean my housemates, to make a run on the ice cream in the freezer.

But we are fortunate. There are thousands in Queens, New York right now, with no electricity for over a week, and temperatures just like these. I have NO room to gripe and whine. On the bright side, its supposed to be in the low 80's next weekend!! :)

Uh oh....Mom's trying to FIX something!!

Today's post will be of limited interest to anyone except my Dad, from whom I get my natural inclination to try to "fix things"......

Sometimes, that's the extent of the similarity between our efforts to fix things: its natural for both of us to try. He regularly succeeds. I regularly have sore stomach muscles from wheezing with laughter as I attempt to act like I know what I'm doing.

Two days ago, the vacuum was being used by the 26-year-old, who was industriously cleaning her room. There was the normal irritating screaming of the vacuum which was suddenly punctuated by a sound resembling a jackhammer on concrete, and then deafening silence broken only by an undeleted expletive. Doors opened everywhere and family members converged on the scene. "What happened?" was the idiotic chorus that rose as we surveyed Karen through the swirling clouds of settling dust.

"I dunno," was the enlightening reply. Possible culprits were located on the floor as vision became more of a possibility.....a random screw, the knob to adjust the heighth of the vacuum, clods of dirt......nothing very telling.

"Yay" Laurie said, as she disappeared....."now I don't have to vacuum my room!" (She's got that "get over it and move on!" thing nailed.....I could take lessons from her. Instead, I vow to fix it.)

I took poor Mr. Blue Vacuum downstairs and he sat in the holding area (the den) awaiting diagnosis. The holding area is where all the "happening" events in this house take place. Why, Sadie gave birth to her second hair bunny in the holding area yesterday. After I finished typing today, I decided to operate. I gathered my tools (screwdriver, scalpel razor blade, scissors, light, fan - I may as well be comfortable...) and I entered the holding area to prep the patient.
I removed the drape, and proceeded with a bimanual examination........yep, any first year resident could see we had a possible strangulation of a vital organ.....the beater bar was encased in a huge amount of foreign objects and debris.........

I removed the cover and dissected away the foreign bodies and other crud....I was feeling pretty smug when I got all this out.....I have no idea what some of this is.....I wasn't even sure when I got it off the beater bar and could take a better look....

But as I say, I was feeling pretty smug. I put the bottom plate back on, sat Mr. Blue Vacuum upright and turned on the power. Jackhammer noise! The Pure Bred Big Yellow Dog nearly wet himself, Le Tigre (the Pitbull) buried her nose in my left elbow, and I turned it off, waited for the air to clear, and contemplated my next brilliant move......

I decided to take off the top cover of the vacuum and see what there was to see.

Okay, that would be a wad of dog hair and crud, right over a seemingly important perforated little vent like area.....Perhaps removing that major obstruction will shed some light on things.....

Why look....speaking of light....hidden with in the disgusting stuff is the light for the front of the vacuum which has mysteriously not worked for months.....I'm sure I have a diagnosis: the light is shaking inside and making the death rattle noise. Voila! Yep, I started feeling smug again! I placed the light bulb in the appropriate location.

Hesitantly, after warning the Pure Bred Big Yellow Dog, I turned Mr. Vacuum back on. Without the benefit of the cover, the death rattle was deafening. All four dogs joined the fray in protest. I turned it off, and then I did the smartest thing I've done all day.

I solomnly intoned "Time of Death 17:55."

Mr. Blue Vacuum is now in the morgue garage awaiting trash day. Sorry, I called it the morgue by accident you see, because Little Bunny FooFoo, the Cat Who Used Up Her Nine Lives, and Spike the Bearded Dragon lie in state in the freezer in the garage, awaiting a proper burial. Don't ask. Really. Don't.

Now I'll turn my attention to trying to improve the performance of the dishwasher. (Max just ran upstairs to hide!) And Mr. B is picking up a new vacuum on the way home. (Note to Laurie: Honey, you can vacuum your room now!)

Dog hair, spinning.....

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0312152906/104-2364593-0788739?n=283155

Still seems weird but it is an idea with some merit!! Talk about recycling!! Apparently people are either grossed out by the idea or love it. I think I'm sort of in the middle - curious and intrigued, but I would not want to wear it myself.

Now a sweater from a cute alpaca or a sheep that I raised and got sheared each year......no problem! Go figure!

Not again....

Furball Sadie gave birth to another hair bunny today......Sheesh. If I could spin this stuff, it would make the softest warmest sweater......but it would smell like a dog.....oh well, at least she will be cooler!!

In an aside that will probably be "cute" to dog lovers....I was transcribing a few days ago and saw Sadie run past my office door with the Pure Bred Big Yellow Wuss Dog, and my fleeting thought as I glanced at her was "she looks like a flying aviator......goggles and all....."

Goggles? Wait just a dog-gone (pun intended) minute! That was my bra she had clamped in her mouth, cups flopping merrily as she tore past me.....(past tense also intended).....it wasn't a bra by the time I got to her. It was a mere suggestion of one, well-chewed, frayed, with holes in some fairly strategic places. Seems that someone helpfully put my clothes (which I forgot to take out of the dryer) into a laundry basket on the floor.......which is just the perfect height for her to run by and snag something!!

Not to worry! Mervyn's was having a great sale in "women's foundations" this weekend!!! ;)

New nickname for Sadie.....Furball?

Its that time of year.....she needs to shed, but for some reason, it doesn't fall off of her....she looked kind of lumpy today, so I got the doggie hairbrush and gave her a new chew bone, which renders her into a cooperative state.....

I was able to basically flip her from side to side and could have tied her tail in knots, and she wouldn't have cared, as long as she had that big new bone to chomp on...... She has this inexhaustable supply of soft grey/white undercoat....

The results of 30 minutes of brushing, emptying the brush and brushing some more.....

Look at the hair collection right beside the brush! Unfortunately, I think Butthead , Furball Sadie has a lot more where that came from, but I figured 30 minutes was enough....don't want her to decide she doesn't like the brush.

Sigh. Back to work.

Pirates, dogs and floors....?

Yes, its Jack Sparrow, from Pirates of the Carribean......

(with breasts.....as one of Karen's friends so sweetly pointed out!)

The new Pirates of the Carribean movie is out and wildly successful. I got a email from Patti (I work with her) stating that she loved the new one, because she knew Karen loved the first one. I sent a few pictures of Karen to her, showing her Karen's Jack Sparrow costume from the heyday of the first Pirates of the Carribean movie.....In one picture we immortalized her boot covers she scored at a costume shop which covered her normal shoes and lent a certain authenticity to the outfit.

Patti wrote back to complement Karen's costume and my wood (laminate) floors.....Reminded me yet again of how much I love my floors in the downstairs (Wilsonart brand)....I can honestly say those floors have saved a few dogs lives......I would have killed them otherwise....

Remember that idiotic commercial a few years ago with a woman who sits there, serene and peaceful amid her child's birthday party which is taking place like a Mardi Gras all around her....and you hear "Mom, Peter spilled grape juice on the carpet!"

And her response, as if she were fresh from her yoga class and had not a care, or a tense muscle in the world, was "that's okay!" with a smile.

And the scenario continues, with crashing sounds and splashing sounds, and with each announcement of catastrophe, even one from an obviously older male character, announcing something along the line of "Honey, I spilled the entire bucket of used, dirty oil from the Mustang on the carpet!", her response was.....still with the vacant, zen-like glazed eyes and ear-to-ear grin......."that's okay!"

Well, I strive for such perfection in my life, you see......and when I hear crashing noises "Mom, Sadi knocked over my soda!"..... "MOM, Le Tigre knocked my spaghetti (with red sauce of course) right out of my hands!" and "MOM, MAX THREW UP!"

I serenely leap to my feet, ever helpful, and assist with the clean up, all the while chanting (as the commercial taught me) my mantra: "that's okay, that's okay, that's okay" interwined with "thank heavens for my wood floors, thank heavens for my wood floors, thank heavens for my wood floors...." and the occasional "thank heavens and Dr. What's-his-name for my hysterectomy!"

Yep, its been about five years - you would think the floors were installed yesterday as far as the appearance......except in my office where my industriousness has worn the gloss just a bit under my chair......it was the best money I've ever spent in my life. The upstairs will be gutted and replaced with the same floors, as soon as the last child adult offspring moves out......We figure saving a minimal amount each month will enable us to pay cash for that flooring purchase, since the last of our descendants probably won't be sandblasted out of their room until sometime in 2014.

End of commercial for Wilsonart Laminate floors.... :)

Inchworms and UFOs

I love plants and flowers. I crave a beautiful, well maintained, flowering yard, with lots of birds and butterflies......

However, I haven't got a green thumb anywhere. Sigh. (Or the money for a gardner with knowledge!)

Not only that, but nature conspires against me. Last time I tried to grow tomatoes, I got a bumper crop of half eaten tomatoes and a family of funky looking humongus worms that entertained us. It was better than TV. The tomato plant grew so well it plastered itself against the kitchen window....we could wash dishes and watch the destruction of the tomatoes all at the same time....

Tonight I decided to repot two sage plants I bought. I received some rosemary from my friend Deborah before she moved and I've enjoyed it so much I thought I'd expand my horizons a bit.....I bought some German oregano which is growing well, and I just got the sage a week ago. I grabbed the two little plants (which I thought in passing this morning looked a bit sad).....and headed out to the back porch....

I was horrified to find that some of the leaves had little teensy holes in them.....and I soon found two culprits..... the teensy holes were made by two teensy inchworms....

I have to say, he's cute......but he's evil in disguise, I'm sure!
Here's another shot of him......

That's him, right beside that nickle....and the well-chomped sage leaf!! One of about 15 leaves I had to cut off, because they were full of holes.....
Grrrrr!

UFO (unfinished object) #15 Progress Report:

It is now 13 inches long.......this is a simple shawl, will be 60-65 inches long when done.....just for throwing over shoulders when its nippy and easy to shrug out of when driving......I'm currently suffering from the delusion that it will actually get cold enough here to use this. Someday, I would like to have enough time to make these regularly, for donation to battered women's shelters. You can read about this project here:

http://www.shawlministry.com/

I thought I would practice by making one for myself first, and see if it was doable. A suggested pattern may be found here:

http://www.lionbrand.com/patterns/khs-prayerShawl.html

There are lots of possibilities.....I wonder, however, if I wouldn't be able to make/accomplish more by making my quilted "love blankies" in smaller form.....for the moms to snuggle with their kids in their safe places, once they make it to a shelter for women, etc.

Enough random thoughts for today. Work calls.

Project Garage 2006

The situation in the garage reached critical mass a long time ago. I have reached the end of my patience with it.....Grrrrr! I bought shelves, with the assistance of one of my trusty cohorts in adventure, Karen. Patrick had the misfortune good sense to go away for the weekend, thereby missing this particular adventure with Joy.....

Karen and I bought heavy duty (will hold 4000 pounds, evenly distributed) industrial shelving at Home Depot. We are women, hear us roar! We were not even deterred by the view that greeted us at the beginning of Project Garage 2006.....

That's the single car side above.....Here's the double car side below.....Yeah, three car garage......funny thing is, I don't see any cars.....

Shelves were built, with the aid of determination, creative cursing, laughter and luck! We now have all of Karen's treasures binned and shelved.....Laurie's are almost done.....my craft supplies (quilting, knitting, tole painting, etc) will be organized soon.....we have not touched Mr. B's stuff.....he's working up to it..... Sigh.

I will take new pix tomorrow......we've been at it for two days, and right now, I'm too tired to hold the camera. I'm doing well just to hold my glass of wine.....and I'm eyeing the bed......

Tomorrow promises to be a light day for my transcription business.....More progress will be made......(crosses fingers!) And the next day is the Fourth of July! More progress is possible.....and a reward: sewing time with Karene!

Ultimate goal: VW van housed in garage, and torture devices treadmill and stationary bike located in garage.....not the middle of the living room! (crosses a few toes for extra benefit!)

But in other good news!

My "Laurie Lu Lovebucket" had 444 days yesterday! One-day-at-a-time is adding up! She has worked SO hard and come so far. She has a fantastic support system, good friends, a good program, a great job, and fantastic results to show for it. Two of the people that I am thankful and grateful beyond words for, are Milton (her counselor, mentor and friend) and Kim (her sponsor, friend, partner in fun - she works with Milton)..... They have watched Laurie go from the little girl in the corner with the black clothes, the black hoodie pulled up over her head, angry and snarling....and they have encouraged, directed, dared and cheered her on....and today, she is the "Laurie Lu (not her real middle name!) Lovebucket" that we knew was in there somewhere, and are so very, very proud of. Here's a pick of Kim and some of Laurie's girlfriends on a recent trip to ski/snowboard at Big Bear......(see what I mean about partner in fun??) (Laurie far left, Kim beside her)
And here's Mr. Milton himself....with Kim at a bonfire down at the beach that the group held one weekend....

And here's another picture of Milton, I believe from one of the conventions they attended...

And one last picture of my Laurie on the right, at a wedding she attended with a friend recently! What a lovely young lady she is! Congratulations Laurie Lu! I love you!

Today I vacuumed the grass.....???

Mother Nature can be such a ...."pain in the arse" sometimes. For five years, I've had an umbrella that stuck up out of a glass patio table......weighted down with a sand/water filled base which I dutifully filled with more water every year.....it never took more than a tablespoon or two to refill it - because it was not leaking. Whenever the Santa Ana winds kicked up, I made sure to stack the chairs, and tie the umbrella shut and we never had a problem, even in really, really severe Santa Ana winds.....

Until today. Dead quiet this morning, muggy, "June Gloom" weather in SoCal. Sudden gust of wind. Crashing sound. I knew, right then. I said to my husband, "that was the sound of the glass table being destroyed." And I was correct......unfortunately.

I have already pulled the table frame off the umbrella, and then pulled the tablecloth that was twisted around it, full of glass, over to the patio.....

There's that much glass UNDER the umbrella too......and an enormous amount was neatly encased in the tablecloth....

Sixteen paws wanted to go out and pee.....so I had to deal with it sooner rather than later......so there I was, with my shop vac, pointy end nosing around in the grass, sucking up shards of glass. Oh well.

Next!

I'm finishing another UFO (unfinished object!)......

This is a quilt that has taught me, among other things, how very much I need the class I am taking on Sunday at Leah's Quilts. Janet, teacher extraordinaire, just might make a real quilter out of me yet! I invented this quilt, in a sense. I just sort of made it up. I purchased 4" squares of a variety of flowered materials on Ebay, because they reminded me of Karene. Her preferred clothing colors, her spirit, just seemed to go with the squares of flowers. I wanted to make her a quilt to wrap up in and watch TV, drag outside and use for a picnic, and wrap up in when she needed to "feel the love" during difficult times - the quilt was to represent a hug from me....It wasn't supposed to be a masterpiece of technical ability.....just a soft, comforting "blankie" for a bestest friend!

I put the top together during a trip to Cody to see Mom and Dad....we had so much fun laying it out and calculating strips and purchasing borders.....

That was last September a long time ago.....an embarrassingly long time ago......Its getting finished now! The quilt top turned out fine, but I'm not so hot at finishing them. I'm not entirely pleased with this one, but it will still serve the purpose for which it is made - representing a hug from me!

Note to self: Pay attention when Janet teaches you how to finish the class quilt!

Anyway, I machine quilted it today using simple diagonal stitching with varigated thread that picks up the flower colors....













My hands didn't feel like they were gripping too well, and I don't own any of those fancy quilting gloves with the gripping finger surfaces......Lightbulb moment!! Karen gave me gardening gloves with gripping surfaces for Mother's Day......as yet unused, so no mud and crud to get on the quilt! Perfect!













They helped a lot! Might not ever take them out to the yard for yard work!!

Got the quilting done, the binding attached.....all that's left is hand stitching the binding and hiding my loose threads. Hmmmm, strategic folding might hide the one crooked corner that has really irritated the heck out of me for the last hour! Oh well, won't get noticed......much......maybe...... :(

Optimistic as always, I'm already planning what I will tackle next, as if I actually knew what I was doing!

Baby Kaleidoscope Quilt Completed

This is the view when I laid it on the table with batting and backing and got ready to baste it together.....

And this is the picture of the completed quilt that I staged for my quilt book.....

And this is little Michelle, after she unwrapped it......

A very happy mommy-to-be! ('scuze the poor focusing job....) We will miss seeing her in the Chipotle Restaurant where Patrick and Karen work.....but she has promised lots of pictures when Baby Jay arrives.....maybe even one on the quilt!!

This is a picture of me, clearly suffering from "completed-quilt-euphoria" as I contemplate my next project......of the dozens I have waiting to be started or completed.....

And this post would not be complete without a "thank you" for the artistic input from bestest buddy Karene......who helped me pick the colors/materials to complete it, that made that quilt just sooo come together! Thank you Karene!!

Little Jasmine/Little Egypt

Sometimes Usually, I have more good (?) ideas than I have knowledge for their execution. But I get an A for effort. About two months ago Deborah, a friend of mine, moved from SoCal to eastern Pennsylvania......and before she left, she offered me some of the beautiful plants in her backyard. This is one of the plants that I knew would need to be replanted once got it here, a jasmine. I thought it would be perfect planted beside my front porch with another jasmine already near there, because it would look pretty and smell great when we sat on the porch.
While buying the items I thought would make a swell border and ensure Little Jasmine's survival......Karen and I met Little Egypt (Karen named her that because she is an Egyptian Papyrus). We liked her "hair" at the top of her stalks. She had a wild ride home in Karen's car, hanging out of the back window in 45 mph wind conditions (thank heavens we didn't need to go on the freeway - she would really have had a "bad hair day!"). We put her in the approximate location where she would be planted, to get used to her new digs....
Today I decided to sneak outside and plant Little Jasmine and Little Egypt. Which of course entailed a lot of digging, and placing the blocks for the border, etc. My dad always teased me when I was younger about "flunking sandbox". That's because I can't shovel worth a darn. Could have planted about four times the number of plants if I could have successfully just removed the dirt with each shovelful instead of watching half of it relocate back in the hole with each attempt.

Also, my efforts were made gingerly at best, because I was in the Sprinkler-Grand-Central area......so instead of the JoyDenise pile-driving method (insert shovel, jump on it and bounce like a pogo stick), I had to very gently push down, and each resistence had to be hand dug out, to determine if it was a rock or, horrors! a sprinkler pipe. When working in the back of the border area, I began to mire up in sluggish clay........yep....I think we have another sprinkler leak. Would never have known it unless I had gotten out there today.....But at least its not in the area I was digging, so I don't have to feel bad! Just have to cough up the money for Mr. Hernandez to fix it. Here's the view, halfway through:

Progress! Next I dug holes, plopped in Little Jasmine and Little Egypt.....while trying not to sink in the soggy areas on the right by the sprinkler thingies. Oh, and I attached the lattice to the fence for Little Jasmine. Then came the hard part. Little Jasmine is probably traumatized for life. I had to thread the branches through the lattice again, and get her all situated......I tried to be gentle. Didn't rip off a single leaf. But I wonder if transplanting isn't pretty hard on a plant. Especially when the person doing it has no clue exactly how to do it.

I added a purple running thing (name escapes me) to the mix and that was that. Here's the view from the front porch as you head for the door.....

Now I'll get Mr. Hernandez to fix the underground leak on the right, so we don't drown the new plants.....although they are actually higher than the sprinkler center. If the plants live a month, I think it will be safe to assume the trauma is over and they can be treated with some Miracle Grow. I'm crossing my fingers.

Max.....and the Max Potty Project

I just figured I would go ahead and solidify my reputation as a transcription service owner/quilter who is just a tad eccentric.....or as my "son" Patrick would say, "one can short of a six pack", or something like that.....I forget.

This would be a story about the Big Max himself......he is a Lab/Shepherd mix who was severely abused as a puppy (its really obvious in his behavior, around men in particular), rescued in traffic by my husband and Laurie (the youngest) and through a comedy of events.....came home with them briefly (after biting Michael during a panic attack in the traffic), ran away by scaling a fence while we attempted to find his owner, was dragged home from traffic again by my other daughter Karen who said "its a sign" when I recognized him and let him in.....eventually we found the owner who didn't really want him and called us up and said "we could have him or he was going to the pound." I bit my tongue, did not hurt them, picked Max up and brought him home to attempt to find a suitable place for him. My husband, unfortunately, had fallen in love with him......and instead of us finding him a home, we ended up making him a home. This was a predictable outcome.....Michael falls in love with anything of the canine species.

I am not a dog person. Explain to me how someone who Does Not Like Dogs ends up with four of them. Shut up, I know I'm a doormat, er, I mean codependent, or something along that line.
Any way, this would be the Big Max, outside my office door. He stays there guarding me.....I should be touched by this, and I am, until I trip over him.....then its kind of annoying....

Max is big, Max is loud. Max is a wuss. The beeping of a dying smoke alarm battery will put him into a panic attack, during which he tears down curtains and tries to climb out of the window OVER the kitchen sink....

Yes, you read that correctly.

Max of course, has to pee. Only he's turning my entire lawn into a toxic waste site. Well, all four of them are, but he is especially toxic. So today, he got his very own toilet.

I started with this area on the side yard of my house, which in 13 years of living here has never been landscaped properly.....hence the bare slope except for ONE successful ivy geranium which I have ignored and against all odds, continues to live:

(and thanks to Karen and Patrick who helped me above and beyond the call of duty...)

And thanks to much dancing and cavorting on the chosen spot and careful placement of anti-weed tarp (like anything would survive his usage) and gravel,

We ended up with this:

Max came out, sniffed it, and promptly peed somewhere else. That figures!

Plan B may be executed in the dead of night. Patrick said he might volunteer to do what all little boys love to do.......go pee outside. He figured if he used Max's potty maybe Max would get the idea after that! (Now you know entirely too much about my weird dysfunctional family!)

Fast forward a few days....All of this actually took place earlier this week (well, except Patrick's Plan B - we had not stooped to that level just yet...) And today, I am happy to report, after pulling the hydrant over to the area RIGHT BESIDE THE GRASS.....Max used the hydrant!!!

Plan C. I will move the hydrant back toward the center of the gravel, one inch at a time, daily.

Plan D. If His Royal Highness, Sir Maxwell, doesn't go along with that, I may consider removing the gravel (Grrrrrrr!) and installing Astroturf or something silly like that for his dainty paws. Such a WUSS!

But he did use it.....and another patch of lawn will live to be green another day!

Congratulations Karen!

The pictures are pretty self explanatory! It was a GOOD DAY!!












This is Laurie, Karen and Patrick walking into Titan Hall for the ceremony.













The group pic before the ceremony.













That would be the beaming Karen on her way in, during the processional..


This is "Doc" - the wonderful man who is single-handedly responsible for instilling a love of history into Karen, inspiring her to make it her major!

















This would be the proud father and the grad....walking back to the car......

On the way out of the parking lot, the VW van overheated......much chaos, bad language and disgust ensued......

Laurie set us straight. She stated, "you know, this totally COULD have happened on the way TO the graduation......"

Dead silence. We shut up, and limped home, a little ways at a time......running the heat to cool the engine, windows down and suitably optimistic! We parked the car in the garage, piled into the kids' cars, and headed back out to celebrate.













This would be the hot, tired, windblown, starving and HAPPY family of the graduate!



Congratulations Karen!